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Updated: Mar 6

Merriam Webster says that power is to exert control, authority or influence over others and it didn’t reconcile with my experience of power both for myself and what it is for my clients.

It is my belief that everyone has power and we all use it differently, build it up differently, express it differently or choose to dispose of it or not possess it. That’s not a judgement, it’s merely an observation.

The Great Peach Debate

Let me demonstrate this observation through one of my friend’s experiences. It goes like this. My friend gets offended over let's just say it's Peach Jam it's not Peach Jam, but for the sake of simplicity let's just assume it is. She gets offended over her Peach Jam being called Peach Jelly. Hey don't take it out on me there are a ton of Jelly versus jam debaters out there, and I'm not taking sides here. That’s right we are not solving the Great Jam vs Jelly Debate.

She gets upset over the folks that call her Peach jam- Peach Jelly, and I mean really upset. She spends time relishing (see what I did there). Oh heaven forbid you were to call it Peach relish. She'd go mental.

She drops lots of time agonizing, being offended over those Peach Jelly name callers for not recognizing that it’s Jam, not jelly. Now as she brings this to me, now let me share this about me Peach Jam, Jelly, relish I don't care at this stage or any other stage.

my response to whether her Peach Jam is jam or Jelly, I am afraid I left her disappointed because I responded ‘um it's good whatever it is it's good.

She's perplexed because she doesn't know where to file this in the jam or the Jelly column and my point is this, she expends or expended all this energy and even more time on this. In the realm of power equations work is divided by time all things being equal more time leads to less power, even math says it was driving her own power low. Time is in the denominator of the power equation, so she ended up driving her own power low. Look at it another way, and she's giving away all her power to someone or something else. I come into this situation, and whether someone calls it jam or jelly, I refused to give it any of my power away. I refuse to play that game or to give any of my power away to anyone else so I will spend very little to no time worrying or working on this matter, well except for this article as an example to help you drive your power equation higher. So I'll ask you, do you give your power away or do you retain it or something else? Many of us in my experience give it away far too easily.


To listen to this article and get the remainder of the show, tune into Lighthearted Leadership with Dr. Lizette Warner Season 2 Episode #10.

If you are looking for a thought partner or a coach to up your power equation look me up and I'll be happy to refer you to a high-performing coach.

Interested in some Power, Poise, and Presence wisdom or interested to read the book? Grab a free copy of my book below.

All my best,


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