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I’m sharing my top 5 Powerful Parenting tips so you can level up how you show up as a parent to help your kids level up how they show up as human beings.
1. Do more by doing less
Give fewer instructions. Give an aim or a goal, and let them figure out how to do it. Don’t give long explanations. They are resourceful and creative. Let them surprise you. If you want Sally to get to school dressed, you don’t have to pick out her clothes and make sure she matches. She can discover her style, and if her outfit doesn’t match, that’s something she can decide whether she wants or not.
2. Get help
If you are a parent working, providing a home to freeloaders, and helping those little freeloaders turn into responsible humans, congratulations on contributing to society! If you are a single parent, you are a superhero. Here’s a great power move for you: Don’t do it all on your own. If you need more time, get a dog walker to walk those dogs, hire housekeeping help, get food delivered or have your housecleaner purchase your groceries, or get a helper to run errands for you.
You are building the next generation of society and providing work to countless individuals contributing positively to society. Use help, get help, or get those tiny humans to help you. Little hands can be used to scrub, sweep, pick up after the dog, dust, and butter dishes for baked goods. The possibilities are endless.
As our kids grew up, we’d yell, “Sous Chef! We need a Sous Chef!” We’d put our little sous chef to work, stirring the sauce or buttering the dish for the pies my husband would make. Pies are dead easy to make and kid-friendly. Pie baking requires lots of prep work that kids can do. Kids are great at prep work, plus eventually, they’ll learn how to make you dinner—bonus power move.
3. Raise your standards
Expect more from those little house elves. Don’t let them off the hook so easily. Yes, they can organize drawers, make their beds and pick up their shoes. No, they don’t have to eat what you make for dinner. Breakfast will be twelve hours later, maybe more or less. They can wait for the next meal to see if that meets their standards or eat what you’ve prepared.
Even babies can learn standards. When our son was fifteen to eighteen months old, he refused his meal and instead threw it to the dog. Not a problem. I gave his food to the dog, and as my son watched in horror, the dog scarfed down his dinner. Dinner ended with the little boy's tears streaming down his face. That was the first and last time my son ever threw his food to the floor, at me, or showed me his little temper. Kids are resilient. Teach them your expectations early, and later you can give them more freedom as they grow. Don’t give them more freedom than what they earn.
4. Encourage Failure
Failure is rich with data and opportunities. Success teaches me little. Failure is ripe with knowledge. The inquiry process begins where failure occurs. What failed? How did it fail? What is possible to try instead?
5. Resist the urge to help
Kids can do a lot on their own. Don’t do for them what they can do on their own or learn to do on their own. Tying shoes is tough, but that doesn’t mean they can’t learn how to tie shoes. See Encourage Failure. Let them discover 800 ways how not to tie a shoe, maybe they’ll discover a new knot, and they might discover why tying a know correctly is important.
About me
I’m Lizette Warner, author of this post and author of Power, Poise, and Presence. I am a global speaker, Leadership Coach, TEDx speaker, and scientist. I direct Leadership Teams in the practice of being better leaders.
If you want more from me, I’ve got a book, Power, Poise, and Presence, snatch a copy for yourself. Check out what it’s like to work with me or if you are looking for a coach, I am happy to connect you with one.
All my best,
Lizette
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